Honest Mama Talk || I Said No

I have a habit of spreading myself to thin.

I’m always saying yes when I’m asked to volunteer for things; I’m always taking on new projects; I’m always setting goals that are either impossible or very hard to accomplish. It’s insanity. I don’t know why I do it. I sometimes find myself believing that people will consider me lazy or will think that I don’t do enough for my children if I don’t try to accomplish everything possibly.

Have I mentioned that I also have a nasty habit of caring too much about what people think of me? I know that I shouldn’t. Caring too much about the opinions of others will only serve to drive a person crazy. It will  cause a person to lose their sense of self worth. I know this, yet I find myself having a hard time passing on volunteer requests all the time.

I put our daughter in Girl Scouts last year and because they were unable to find a troop leader, I volunteered and ended up doing everything with very little help from anyone. I’ve volunteered to be room mom for our daughter’s class every single year, even when I know that I’m going to end up stressed beyond belief when I end up doing the big class projects alone. I volunteer to bake things, build things, drive people places, babysit… this list can really go on and on. I’m always taking on projects, even when I know that I’m going to be spreading myself too thin in doing so.

Well today? Today, I said no.

Don’t worry, I was very nice about it! I was asked to bake a giant batch of something for a school function and I politely explained that I wasn’t able to because I had too much on my plate at the moment. And guess what! It felt good. I think that I will do it again sometime.

We as parents need to realize that we have a lot on our plates, always. There is always something to do in some capacity when it comes to our children and just because we’re not able to extend ourselves in every facet of their lives, doesn’t make us bad parents. There are plenty of completely legitimate reasons to say no to things, and that is fine.

No, because I’ve got nine-hundred other things on my to do list that need attention.

No, because I’ve volunteered for too many things already.

No, because I have a toddler at home who won’t. stop. climbing. and I’m busy preventing a trip to the ER.

No, because I don’t want my kids to have to deal with an overly anxious, stressed out mama because I have too many things to do and not enough time in my day to do them.

No, because I would love to just sit down at the end of a long day and hang out with my little family for five seconds instead of rushing off to get the next thing done.

No, because frankly… I don’t want to.

The point is, we don’t have to be everything to everyone in order to be good parents. Our parenting skills are not measured by the extra tasks that we take on. We don’t need to bake 100 brownies for the school bake sale in order for our kids to look at us and say “man, I’ve got a good mama.” They just want us. They want our time, they want our fun, they want our love. They don’t care about the rest of it.

And who cares what other people think? Honestly. It doesn’t matter. Other people are not our kids. Other people are not our keepers. They can easily ask someone else to complete the task.

So I’ve made a promise to myself. I’m only going to take on the projects that I feel help my family, further my dreams and don’t make me feel like I’m THISCLOSE to losing my mind. I can’t  {I won’t} take away from my family life in order to give, give, give myself to projects simply because I’m afraid of what people think of me. I can’t be the “yes” person anymore. I can’t just blindly walk into things because I’m afraid of being gossiped about. That is no way to live.