Parenthood is Not a Competition


I was at a park with my kids the other day. They were playing together, giggling, eating a puff or two, blissfully unaware of anything going on around them. I, however, was catching the stink-eye from a couple of moms sitting one picnic table over from us. I could hear them discussing the fact that I look like I’m a few years younger than I am, and that there was simply no way that both of my kids could be mine. I must have had one when I was super young. Oh, and also… Puffs? Bad choice! Don’t I care about the dangers of putting these kinds of snacks in my childrens’ bodies?

I swear to you, it took everything I had not to turn to these ladies and tell them off for the things that they were saying, but, again… two kids sitting across from me, completely unaware of the mommy war that these women were waging on me. Someone who they didn’t know. I did {against my better judgement} happen to get a word in edgeways when we got up to leave. I politely informed them that I was actually almost 30, not the age of 23 that they were guessing {even if I was, who cares? Not their business}. Oh, and they should be aware of the fact that their whispering skills aren’t up to par. The look on their faces as I walked away did perk up the bad mood they’d put me in a bit.

But the point is, they were rude. And they were extremely wrong in their blind judgements.

Let’s just cut to the chase: we all do things differently. Every parent has their own technique for everything when it comes to raising their kids, and that is fine. We’re all heading toward the same endgame here. We’re trying to raise good kids. Kids who will one day become adults that we will hopefully want to hang out with. And our ways of doing that are different. Again, that is fine.

Some of us cloth diaper, some of us use disposables. Some of us breastfeed, some of us use formula. There are parents who vaccinate their children and parents who do not vaccinate their children. Some homeschool, some do not. There are different ways of teaching, organizing, feeding, traveling, putting them to bed, disciplining… you name it. There are several choices at every turn in this whole parenthood thing, and none of these choices are bad choices. They’re just choices. (Obviously abuse is not what I’m talking about here, before I get comments about that not being mentioned. Of course abuse is always a bad choice.)

And let me add that being a young parent doesn’t make you an irresponsible one. It doesn’t make you a bad one by any means.

Difference is a part of life, so what reason do we have to get angry at people for not doing what we do?

Parenting is stressful enough. Why are we putting the weight of judgment upon ourselves and other parents as well? There is no point to it. Parenting is so stinking hard as it is. We should be hugging each other, uplifting each other and patting one another on the back at the end of a hard day of doing this stuff. Give your your fellow mama or papa a dang metal. Buy them a coffee. Be nice. Become friends. We may all be able to learn something from one another. All of this judging, sanctiparenting crap is ridiculous. Let’s stop it, yeah?


Guys! I’m so excited to be able to say that this post was featured as “Best of the Best” on Turn it up Tuesday over at the Epic Mommy Adventures blog!
Epic Mommy Adventures

17 thoughts on “Parenthood is Not a Competition

  1. It’s sad how catty some women can be. I think if we all put more energy in connection and support, it would make parenting just a little easier. You never know what another mom may have that could help you be a better parent. I’ve been judged too–too many kids (4) and I was young, so I can relate. Just keep being the great mom you are!!


    1. I definitely agree with you. Parenting would be much easier if people learned to be positive and supportive rather than the opposite about every little thing. I was young when I had my oldest (19.5), but that doesn’t make someone any less of a parent. People need to learn that! And thank you for stopping by to comment! You keep being the great mama you are as well, Chantale! 🙂


  2. Ugh Mothers should support each other! It’s really sad when we are trying to compete. I just don’t get it:/ Be good for your kids and don’t stick your nose into someone’s business. I really can relate to that post because I’ve been judged as well.


    1. Exactly! We’re all trying to do the same thing here. There is no reason to judge someone for it, especially with facts that you made up yourself. I’m glad, but also sad, that you can relate. It’s always good to know that you’re not alone in feeling a certain way, but being judged isn’t exactly a fun thing to have to deal with! Thank you for stopping by! ❤


  3. Applause!
    I can’t believe these women were so judgemental! You’re so right. It’s none of their business. Plus, in a few years, it will be their own kids chomping on Puffs!


    1. Exactly! I could probably write a list a mile long of all of the things I swore that I would never do or allow my future kids to do before I was a parent. Ahh… what a genius I wasn’t. Haha! Thanks for coming by!


  4. Mom on mom hate, it’s definitely a thing. I’m glad you said something to them. You handled it much nicer than I would have. 😉 Puffs for everyone, I say!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. totally agree with this! I’m ashamed to say I have been a judger in the past…but since having my baby I appreciate the insane exhaustion parents go through and how that moment when they are eating a bag of cheesy puffs could be the happiest they’ve been all day!! giving you a much needed time out, I now hate mummy judgers! great post


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